This month by far has seen the most change for Kennedy! Last month was all about me changing into a “mom”….well now it seems Kennedy has decided to be a real baby – in a good way! She actually focuses in on things, grabs for toys, and talks! Well- kind of- more on that later………
If you follow my instagram account (Jacks1313) you know we have spent most of this past month in Mesa, Arizona visiting my mom and step dad (How lucky are we??!!!) .
But to get here- we had to take a flight………. Kennedys FIRST flight (Thank you to everyone for all the great flying tips!). We lucked out and Kennedy was a gem on the plane.
I didn’t realize how nervous I was until I was just about to board the plane – and I was dizzy. Its because I am due for a big karma butt kick. I fully admit it – before Kennedy I used to always think “Oh Great” if I saw a baby on a plane. Now I feel SO BAD! These last few months I’ve been on the other side – and I realize how judgmental I was. Nothing makes you re-evaluate your pre-baby self than having a baby of your own and suddenly you ARE that parent you used to judge. I’ve nicknamed Kennedy “The Boss” because really – SHE decides – no matter how much time and effort I’ve put into “being ready” for every scenario. I really don’t think it was anything we did in particular on the flight – she just decided to take it easy on us haha. I still have to fly back with her so we will see if this was a one-time fluke or if she really is nice…..and if there are other babies on future flights in my life– I intend to be VERY understanding for years to come!
Kennedy is SO cute –and I know I come from a VERY biased standpoint haha. But month 3 has given her such a little personality. She talks now! Well, not really talking haha but to hear her use her voice in little “oooohs” & “Ahhhhs” is amazing. I know, I’m reading this too thinking – ok Jack how can a little ooohh or ahhhh be “Amazing” ?? But the minute she did it for the first time I almost freaked- it’s insane to think just a few short weeks ago she was literally a little potato who didn’t do much other than eat, sleep (a little) and poo (a lot) . Now- her eyes light up when she sees you…….and also for things like bright colors, stripes and hockey on TV haha
You know when you’re dating someone and you think – oh they are cute and then you date a little longer and you start to think of your future and you think yeah I thiiiiink I could marry this person. And then sometimes those thoughts turn to having a family (although you never mention this early cause you would look like a stage 5 clinger) …… well now I get to see my thoughts actually become a reality. I always thought Bobby (my husband) would be a good father – he’s super fun, never stressed and he is just a big kid himself. Well seeing him with Kennedy – has blown my mind. He is an amazing father. We fight over who gets to wear her in the Baby Bjorne and who gets to put her to bed and who gets to pick her up from her bassinet in the morning. He does anything that will make her smile and he softens his voice every time he talks to her. Never in my wildest dreams did I think the beer (Revs for me) chugging, pizza ordering, lets go home at 3am Bobby and Jackie would love this so much. We ARE that cliché and reveling in it .
Now that’s not to say everything is perfect haha. One thing I am trying to learn is letting go a bit. Just because someone does something different than how I do it – doesn’t mean it’s wrong. This could be applied to many many things in life. But a perfect example– DIAPER CHANGES! My heart almost stops every time as Bobby takes his sweet time talking, figuring out which side of the diaper is right, that its on just perfectly, finding the cream and the wipes – meanwhile she DOES NOT have a diaper on!! It’s like shear panic that goes through me – she is totally going to pee (Or worse!) everywhere any second- hurry up!!!!
Also – angry whispers are a REAL thing! You don’t know how harsh you can make your whisper tone until you have a sleeping baby but you still want to “discuss” something . And it’s usually when you’re sleep deprived and then you almost always laugh about it in the morning cause of course none of it made any sense.
I find myself getting so excited over the major milestones- She “talks” back, she grabs things, she smiles so big now and she follows voices. I keep saying “I cant wait until she can really talk” or “I cant wait to ( insert big girl thing here)” …………….. but then I go through my 2850 photos Ive taken in the last few weeks and think – oh my gosh look how small she used to be I don’t want her to grow up anymore!!!! It’s such a pull I feel – wanting her to stay a baby forever and then being so excited for her to grow up.
Our time in Arizona has been awesome!! Although I think I am already learning that perhaps everything I love – Kennedy may not be as excited about. At least not yet .Case in point –Giraffes! I was literally shaking in excitement at the opportunity to feed real live giraffes and have her there with me…..and she slept the whole time. I even pulled a big mom no no and tried to wake her a bit – and she went right back to sleep. Perhaps we can share this perfect memory again in a few years! Another thing she hates – Basketball. We went to a SUNS game and she lost it for the last half of the game. Trust me – they have a really great hallway at that arena – I walked about 50 laps there. I was so sad- she had the perfect outfit and everything. But sometimes – even that doesn’t matter.
Lots of hiking here- and with the perfect instagram filter I can look like a mountain master in my Baby Bjorne! But lets get real – babies are so freaking heavy! Holy it hurts ! It’s a great idea for about the first 20 minutes but then we both get hot and its not pretty. But then we both give in – aka my body goes numb and Kennedy just falls asleep.
Sleep has been an adventure in itself. I never really know what I’m going to get. Some nights she sleeps 8 HOURS and I wake up in the morning thinking “Yesssssss I am the mom queen I can handle this – we’re on our way!! Then she sleeps 2 hours out of the 24…..or so it feels like it haha.
One big rule I’ve learned this month – NEVER think you have things figured out or handled. As soon as you even think it – your baby will sense this and turn everything around . So I end up thanking Kennedy over her bassinet like she just gave me a million dollars (and it kinda feels like it when your sleep deprived)….and then I go on to beg her to do it again the next night.
It’s hard to believe in just over a month I am back to work! I am officially back March 20th – honestly its overwhelming to think “ How will I balance this all” ? So many questions racing through my mind. But I know I’m not the first mom in the world to go back to work. Somehow – it will all just fit into place right? I hope! Where I’m really lucky – is the job I’m going back to – especially the people (Don’t tell Matt I miss him haha) . For the next month though – my only job title is still Mom – and I’m going to cherish every single second.